Today's Anderson show can go in a lot of directions. I think I'll roll with the most emphasized Chicago theory. First off, just because I am involved in this conspiracy does not mean that it will determine the rest of my baby's life. Yes, the baby obviously has a beginning, but my baby's life will not have any kind of communism to be damned to. I will always declare her freedom.
Back to the original thought and comment. I really do not know who is responsible for this conspiracy. I never percieved my story with the baby and the baby's father in relation to "Chicago," (movie) and the theme is being played out by someone else. I know how both sides of the story are. I know the side that I am definitely going with. Fair is fair and talk is talk. It isn't fair at all that I'm labeled as the bad guy just because the baby's father all of a sudden wants to look like The Perfect Man or a Ken doll. This was never about his looks to begin with. I do think he is attractive. HOWEVER, he has been nothing but an asshole this whole time! In person to person one on one talk, he HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT AN ASSHOLE. He has been so judgemental and even harassing. All of a sudden he wants to give himself the credit for Edward the vampire and frame me out to be the bad villian in the end? Hell no. I obviously already have had experience with these lying Chicago kind, and sad to say, there have been a number of men who have gotten away with the injustice. Fucking Limp Biscuit "behind blue eyes," that can't get a grip on life and is always expecting others to be fucking damned for his sorry ass.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: I don't beg. He has made his choices. He has said what he has wanted to say. That is his own choice. I will not beg or be crawling on my knees in anyway for him to change his mind.
Now, like the title of this blog goes, I label it "mind warp." I could be wrong with my assumptions. If my instincts were said to be wrong, I really would have a hard time believing that he genuinely wants a relationship with me or has any sort of genuine love. I have stronger instincts that believe this is about his vanity and ego reputation. He might not be handling the world very well right now and rather than own up to what he has really said, he would do what everyone else does and expect me to be damned for their sake.
A lot of this seems like my own fundamentals of history with the Australian representation of Hugh Jackman and Chicago. Two concepts being mixed together right now. There have been varied times where I compare Australia to Russia and the Burmuda triangle. There obviously will not always be good intentions from people and sometimes it can be challenging in trying to figure out what the real drama is. The game of foolishness and love. The game of belief and assumptions. Sometimes the games are dirtier but there is always some fogginess and feeling confused and rightfully indecisive.
In going towards the direction of Seth, I can't tell if he is still coming on to me or gently letting me down. With drama going on with SNL it does look like right now is a bad time for him, but he is obviously in the spotlight Australian style today. To me it looks like he is either being a player with a number of women and likes to have a lot of girlfriends or he could just be testing me. Maybe he intentionally leads me on "for the purpose of capitalistic motivation," so that I will stay in connection with other people that is probably in their capitalism to take advantage of me. I did say that I wanted him to keep playing with me, and he is, but I don't know how to take a hint or what he could be really trying to say.
What does Anderson mean with "try something new?" To me, I see it as another gladiator movie where my "entertaining services," are too old or boring for people and he is cracking the whip for me to try something else in the arena.
Anderson, back down from this one.
I did like the idea of the open mindedness of the show. While it brings back the cold memory of a short-lived job that I had, I remember talking about the ideas of babies. I do think it is acceptable and fine if women choose to have a sperm donor. Sometimes, either relationships don't happen or they do happen with same sex or opposite sex couples who can't match and I think it is fine to keep an open mind whether single or in a relationship. Not a lot of people think about other people who have had sperm donors but it is interesting to think about the half-siblings.
Besides the whole drama of Chicago, I will give credit to some people that have heard me out at one time or another. There is still not much of a tangible change in my life, but in thinking of Chicago and Australia there has been some fairness in acknowledging how perplexed I have felt:
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