Chicago, Australia, and drama

Today's Anderson show can go in a lot of directions. I think I'll roll with the most emphasized Chicago theory. First off, just because I am involved in this conspiracy does not mean that it will determine the rest of my baby's life. Yes, the baby obviously has a beginning, but my baby's life will not have any kind of communism to be damned to. I will always declare her freedom.
Back to the original thought and comment. I really do not know who is responsible for this conspiracy. I never percieved my story with the baby and the baby's father in relation to "Chicago," (movie) and the theme is being played out by someone else. I know how both sides of the story are. I know the side that I am definitely going with. Fair is fair and talk is talk. It isn't fair at all that I'm labeled as the bad guy just because the baby's father all of a sudden wants to look like The Perfect Man or a Ken doll. This was never about his looks to begin with. I do think he is attractive. HOWEVER, he has been nothing but an asshole this whole time! In person to person one on one talk, he HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT AN ASSHOLE. He has been so judgemental and even harassing. All of a sudden he wants to give himself the credit for Edward the vampire and frame me out to be the bad villian in the end? Hell no. I obviously already have had experience with these lying Chicago kind, and sad to say, there have been a number of men who have gotten away with the injustice. Fucking Limp Biscuit "behind blue eyes," that can't get a grip on life and is always expecting others to be fucking damned for his sorry ass.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: I don't beg. He has made his choices. He has said what he has wanted to say. That is his own choice. I will not beg or be crawling on my knees in anyway for him to change his mind.

Now, like the title of this blog goes, I label it "mind warp." I could be wrong with my assumptions. If my instincts were said to be wrong, I really would have a hard time believing that he genuinely wants a relationship with me or has any sort of genuine love. I have stronger instincts that believe this is about his vanity and ego reputation. He might not be handling the world very well right now and rather than own up to what he has really said, he would do what everyone else does and expect me to be damned for their sake.

A lot of this seems like my own fundamentals of history with the Australian representation of Hugh Jackman and Chicago. Two concepts being mixed together right now. There have been varied times where I compare Australia to Russia and the Burmuda triangle. There obviously will not always be good intentions from people and sometimes it can be challenging in trying to figure out what the real drama is. The game of foolishness and love. The game of belief and assumptions. Sometimes the games are dirtier but there is always some fogginess and feeling confused and rightfully indecisive.

In going towards the direction of Seth, I can't tell if he is still coming on to me or gently letting me down. With drama going on with SNL it does look like right now is a bad time for him, but he is obviously in the spotlight Australian style today. To me it looks like he is either being a player with a number of women and likes to have a lot of girlfriends or he could just be testing me. Maybe he intentionally leads me on "for the purpose of capitalistic motivation," so that I will stay in connection with other people that is probably in their capitalism to take advantage of me. I did say that I wanted him to keep playing with me, and he is, but I don't know how to take a hint or what he could be really trying to say.

What does Anderson mean with "try something new?" To me, I see it as another gladiator movie where my "entertaining services," are too old or boring for people and he is cracking the whip for me to try something else in the arena.
Anderson, back down from this one.

I did like the idea of the open mindedness of the show. While it brings back the cold memory of a short-lived job that I had, I remember talking about the ideas of babies. I do think it is acceptable and fine if women choose to have a sperm donor. Sometimes, either relationships don't happen or they do happen with same sex or opposite sex couples who can't match and I think it is fine to keep an open mind whether single or in a relationship. Not a lot of people think about other people who have had sperm donors but it is interesting to think about the half-siblings.

Besides the whole drama of Chicago, I will give credit to some people that have heard me out at one time or another. There is still not much of a tangible change in my life, but in thinking of Chicago and Australia there has been some fairness in acknowledging how perplexed I have felt:

Another movie: Something Borrowed.

There are actually a number of people to talk about as well as thoughts.
I'll start with myself and the thoughts:
The movie is not really that accurate at all. It is opinions and thoughts written by other people. I think they really skewed my personality and actions big time with the pushover labels.
The ending said it most: I am hated.
I think it could be a new think tank to say new groups of people I will be among/around.

AND TO BE VERY STRAIGHTFORWARD ON A CONTINUOUSLY OLD SUBJECT: NO I WILL NOT COMMIT SUICIDE. NO I DON'T THINK I SHOULD HAVE TO DIE OVER MO. GET OVER IT.
Yes, the hateful vibe really says it all.

People:
Some people from TGI Fridays in Oklahoma: Marcus and Christie,
Jon Stewart
Jeremy
of course Dane
maybe Chance C
Josh
Luke
Zoey D
Tom Cruise
Katie Holmes
Joe Flacco
Luke
Brian Williams
of course Kate Hudson

I still say, people try way too hard when they make the picture with me the way they do: Insecure, I don't go for anything, I am loyal, pushover.
I think when people continue to exploit everything about my life they'll eventually break into my blogs and think otherwise. If blogs are denied, I still argue people have never liked how I compete and who I am as a person.
I think this is another vulcher moment.
People are noticing some things that I care about that I don't always keep hidden.
Lot of multiple texting and mixed signals amongst people with who means what with who.

With Kate Hudson specifically, it gets a little confusing. I know throughout the couple of years we have both had interests in the same men. I still question about games and disguises and if her and Dane still do have a thing. I see more vain accusations that "I love her." I really did hate how people painted it and put words in my mouth that I'm a pushover for her and "loyal."
I am also tired of other anal retentive battles of authoritarianism and chicken pecking order. I'm tired of constant feuds and testings over "who is in charge."
Her, my sister, Christie is still in my life? (I never considered myself close to Christie).
I took Kate Hudson as being a smart ass more than anything about being "best friends." I really don't think there is any sincerity at all and it is fine with me. I think she deceives herself if she is serious.
Throughout the Burmuda I did have some gossip. I've never seen her as a close friend. Back in the day, before I was ever paranoid with actual Hollywood people, I did like the movie, "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days." But, she is definitely not on my good side.

My sister? We havn't been friends in years.
Some people still compare us anyway even as twins or that we're the same. I did see a lot of mixed texts.

Crack Rat? lol another name call that I laugh off. I have and still do rat on my stalkers though. If I have not proved yet that I am nobody's victim, it will eventually be made clear with some people.
And of course I'm not on crack.

Jon Stewart. with the whole England thing, I think what he may ultimately be saying is that his love for me will be when he murders me over the sake of Mo. "Here Sarah, I'll put you out of your misery, I love you." He and other people who are on the same page as him are full of it. No Jon, I don't feel romanticized. No Jon, Mo is not worth dying over and I think you are ridiculous. Whatever other lists of reasons you may come up with that says I should die for the sake of, I still say you're ridiculous and full of it.
You and people like you really need to get a life and learn how to deal with your own issues rather than be restless and think I should have to drop dead because of you.

Dane, mixed signals, happy and not happy to be playing games, of course you're stringing me along. I've had my own times of personally blocking you and am capable of doing it again. I havn't made that choice yet. You already chose to block me on Twitter but we both know not elsewhere.

Other guys, I really don't know them enough. I'm not trying to break anyone's heart or B.S., I really just don't know a lot about some of the other guys.
Joe Flacco is confusing and messed up in his own way. I just don't know Joe enough and I really think he doesn't know me either.

I think other people, they share the same story and are not necessarily connected to me.
Don't blame Cameron Diaz? I think some people are giving me more clues as to who is responsible for some things. Negligence? Why do people think I should blame her over negligence? If it is about a karma game with someone else, why do people think I should be made to suffer over someone's negligence?

More stuff to find out.............

It is a movie I could watch again and look for more clues. Right now, that is all I can think of.

Man Drama

Every day is a crazy day.
Personal confusion.
Death threats.
Mysteries.
Personal drama.
Confusion in personal drama.

If we are going to play serious, I'm for playing serious.
I like to be passive at first. I like to look before I leap. I like to have a very good idea of the entire world around me including actual trees in the forest before I make any decision.

I think I've already proven on numerous occassions how calm I can be.

Obvious things going on in the world with wars and disasters. In my personal life there are tragedies.

I am seeing that it appears several men are attracted to me all at one time. I really hate how it happens like this. It seems as if I'm lonely and then all of a sudden it is more than just one.

I'm still sincere with Dane.
Some people are very obvious, while other men are a little more distant. Confusion with the men.
The movie 9 seems like it is the only thing anyone is taking serious. It seems right now the only reason I am being sought after is my sexual appeal.
I'm not looking to be an entertainer. Are people being serious that they believe the resolution or answer to war is being an adult entertainer? Ha! Some B.S. that some people have can be humorous, but I hate mixing war and sexual entertainment together.
Maybe it is Dane testing me.
Or maybe someone has some sort of point they are trying to prove.

I don't know what to say to some other men. I've said it earlier and I'll think it out loud again with some of my predictability of being musical:

Dark Day

I experienced a tragedy today that I won't be specific with for the sake of my silence to respect him.

However, I am not one who is easy to be intimidated. I have said it has made me very angry before.

My biggest hunch is that it is Eric Wyer, Erin Wyer's little brother:

http://original.antiwar.com/author/engelhardt/

Engel? I remember Little House on the Prairie and the message of the daughter punching the other girl for her father's sake. I don't even know Eric's dad. When I was friends with Erin, I think I may have met him.
Both she and him have an extreme loyalty for the fact that I don't even know their dad.
I think it's more about his sister. She is the one I have the most problems with. His very first article was loaded with threats.
http://original.antiwar.com/engelhardt/2011/03/17/taking-the-war-out-of-air-war%C2%A0/

This article gave a clue which reminds me of the movie with Zoey and Mark.

http://www.darkpolitricks.com/2011/03/bloodbath-in-yemen-no-un-action-for-the-peace-laureate%e2%80%99s-pal/

I like to know the full spectrum: The Why, The Cause, The effect.
It almost sounds like we have nothing but a chaotic military. It sounds like anger management problems due to the why being familial loyalty.

I don't quite get how to read into all of the lines. It sounds like violent talk more than anything. But I have no clear translation of this violence.
He probably is mad with what I have said against Erin.

It is another part of Burmuda that I really do not understand.

But one thing that is clear, it is now that the Wyers and I are serious, serious, deathly serious enemies.